My Word
is My World
There is an importance to being intentional with the words I use. It’s worth inspecting phrases which don’t really make any logical sense or fail to accurately outline the actual expression.
On one hand, there is a limit to how much meticulous arrangement of words really matters. There is always a gap between the actual words used to express a thought and that which is intended to be expressed. There are essentially many ways to say the same thing and words are never actually that which they relate to.
However, there are certainly ways of saying things which are more clear and concise compared to others. There may always be a gap to leap from what is said to what is meant, but some articulations are more detailed. Some people relate to certain phrasing more intuitively over other ways of wording the same thing.
A fundamental aspect of integrity is for actions to match words. This does not come from a passive relationship to words. Taking what I say seriously, believing words I speak, experiencing sincerity… I am hesitant to make certain jokes. Laughter and lightheartedness don’t negate the consequences of speaking words I don’t believe in. The consequences of putting such sentiments into the world.
A common misalignment of phrasing is the use of “you” when speaking of personal experience.
I try to reserve the use of “you” for when I’m actually speaking to a particular individual. Otherwise, I’m more inclined to use neutral or first person phrasing, in acknowledgment of the fact that I am speaking of personal experience.
I understand that this use of “I” may instinctively prompt the one reading it to view the sentiment apart from themselves in a way that they do not relate. Which is fair, maybe it’s not an experience you can relate to. However, when the sentiment is resonant and the barrier between seeing other as separate dissolves… this “I” can be read as personal experience. I see this as a powerful perceptual exercise to practice and one I’d like to leave available, while simultaneously feeling more sincere and honest compared to a constant assumption of “you”.
Contrarily, this assumptive use of “you” can backfire—as I often experience when I read others’ use of this phrasing where the experience doesn’t match my own. I feel defiant in the face of this inaccurate assumption and generalization, proceeding to toss the idea out with the validity of the line of thought the person seems to be operating from.
Likewise, I’m willing to use language which matches my extent of felt certainty (“I think”, “It seems”…). I’ve seen advice to abstain from using such phrasing with the intention to communicate more convincingly... However, I personally lose confidence in people I see making statements of absolute certainty—overlooking a gap of unknown unknowns. I’m also not interested in trying to trick someone into trusting me. I’d rather actually be honest—consequentially, creating instances of what that actually looks like. It may very well be passed on in the moment and many moments after, but hindsight develops clarity as the future cultivates sense of the past.